How did I get here?

I live in China.
This is a strange realization that I make sometimes... you would think that after 2 1/2 years here, I would be adjusted to the fact, but I'm not.
How did I get here? I wonder some days. And, more importantly, When did I get so used to life here? other days.
I don't remember ever being pushed as a kid. I was quiet, a dreamer, got good grades because I was terrified of disappointing anyone - much to my parents' bewilderment. I never messed up, so they never needed to push me. I pushed myself, although I don't know why.
But I never saw myself overseas. Sure, vacationing in Europe, yeah, but living in a dirty apartment in China? Never crossed my mind.
And yet, I really love it here. Life is weird here, and hard, but it's also so, so, so good, and I've found so much joy here. To the point that, with seven weeks in the States quickly approaching, I am not excited about leaving. Somehow, Loving China has gotten mixed up with Not Missing America.
I'm excited to see J, to spend time with him, to get to know him better and in a new way; but spend time in the States? Go grocery shopping with a cart instead of a recycled grocery sac? Buy prepackaged, frozen and canned foods instead of vegetables off a donkey cart? Brave a shopping mall and be surrounded by clothing that actually might fit me? And shoes? Restaurants of every shape, size and flavor, instead of just the daily choice between rice or noodles?
The prospect is daunting. I can completely understand how hard it is to emigrate to a country like America, for someone from a less developed/international nation - life is just so much more complex in the States.

Oh well. It'll just take some adjusting, just like life here did. I just hope I can learn to weave more seamlessly between these two cultures I love over time, because J and I have some back and forth in our future!